Ilo IvyLevel: Basic PLUS
Better known as iLo Ivy within the international business community the entrepreneur, turned writer and speaker, is an Expert Author and a Philanthropy Ambassador; a ... Article Word Count: 808[View Summary]Comments (0)
Online dating, the digital era's influential contribution to human interaction! Though most people know about it, it certainly isn't to everyone's taste. But if you are either the curious, open-minded or optimistic type, it is possible that you have tried it, at least once.
I receive hundreds of e-mails, almost daily. And I saw a pattern, which was causing feelings of rejection, among thousands of men out there. I decided to 'share the light' with some already, for which they have been very grateful. So it is only fair that I extend, to you, my answers to the question, "why is my online dating not as successful, as I expected?" OK...
- No, it isn't your looks. 'Attractive' or 'unattractive' (a matter of opinion) you could be very charming, or not, if you knew how / wanted to.
- First impressions guys, come on! Your first e-mail is very important, if you are serious about wanting a response from 'that girl'; which mean, read about her, first!
- Do not write to a girl to talk about yourself; that is precisely what your profile is for: height, age, what you do, where you live, if you have children or are divorced. (We read!)
- Relax; when trying to date online, everyone is looking for the same; some more confident than others; but no one is judging you; so no need to explain why you are on that particular website.
- Be polite; do not address a girl, for the fist time, as if you already know her. No, it doesn't make you look cool. It makes you look extra confident, even intrusive "Hey babe"? (Really?)
- "Well, if you are interested, write to me..." OK, this is the perfect example of a 'complete-waste-of-time' line. That means you really aren't bothered about whether she will. (We see it!)
- Forget about Freedom of Expression, we are talking opportunity here; if you only write "you are so beautiful" chances are, she already knows that.
- Do not tell a girl your life's story, on your first e-mail. She may empathize, after she knows why you decided to write to her.
- Busy world these days! "How are you?" and "How was your weekend?" are everybody's (nice) questions. But more interesting lines will always get a reply.
- "I am looking for a girl like..." My friend, we do not care about what you are looking for, generically; just, why are you writing (to me) please? (Attention guaranteed).
- On a first e-mail, it is very likely that a girl doesn't care about your travel plans. It is not like she knows you and is going to jump on the next plane to meet with you. (Showing off already?)
- This is one of the most intrusive 'hello' lines out there: "Hey, how is the search going...?". Well, she doesn't know you, so why should she tell you how bad (or how well) it is going. Let us apply some common sense. ("Oh it was going well, until you asked me that question";)
- Only write to a girl on a positive note. Reverse Psychology to make her feel bad about something she said on her own profile isn't charming (at all).
- Please avoid lines such as: "No drama please", when describing your 'ideal woman', we women usually interpret that as "Oh, he really loves drama, that is why he chooses relationships like that; how else could he know what 'drama' is?" (Not a 'cool' statement).
- And why would you have a picture of you with another woman (or women) as your main image? Let me guess, your best angle? Well that, really, isn't your best one, when trying to find a serious relationship. That tells us that you are vain, at any cost, and we might refer ourselves to the Urban Dictionary for the meaning of the word 'player' (unless "she" was a family relative). Still, it is your personal dating experience. Why involve others?
- Also, some adore their children. But an online dating site isn't appropriate for any kind of children associations, regardless of your 'openness' and how cute the child or children are (and look) on your main image. Just imagine this scenario, you write to a girl: "Hey, do you fancy a chat?" and she will think: "With you and your child? Sorry, bed time."
- And finally, it should be only you, on your main image, why make us guess, who you might be, among your (sometimes more attractive) friends? Whom do you really want us to date?
Experiences, and perceptions of whether online dating 'works' are usually measured by found love or friendship, and weird or fun moments to remember. It has everything to do with how we present ourselves; and definitely with how we approach the subject of our attraction.
Good Luck!
By iLo Ivy
A polyglot entrepreneur, turned writer & speaker; a modern woman, who lives, loves, travels, learns and shares! Explore and follow a variety of articles and reviews by this author: http://iinotes.wordpress.com/
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Article Submitted On: April 19, 2011
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