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HOME» Relationships» Online Dating ByJennifer J FlowersArticle Word Count: 582[View Summary]Comments (0)With all the recent news about online dating and the potential hazards, a lot of talk has been made about new security measures. While I agree, every dating site has a need to protect its clients, I'm not sure just running a sex offender check is the best idea. I think it may promote a false sense of security, disregards this new breed of predator and doesn't stress personal hyper vigilance enough.
Back when online dating was just a glimmer in the internet's eye; people met others through friends, events, and just luck. Even now, who can say they have never been set up by a friend for a blind date? It is how we approach blind dates that differ from our regular wariness. A blind date must be safe because our friend knows this person. This individual has already been vetted. We think we will be safe. And usually no matter how crazy the date may be, he isn't a serial killer. It is this same sense of security, online daters will feel but perhaps without justification.
Most of the presented security measures include a sex offender database check. This would weed out criminals who have been convicted of sex crimes and get them off the dating websites. That is a great start but remember that crimes like domestic violence and con artistry are not sex crimes. So while a dater will be safe from sexual predators that doesn't mean safe from all predators.
Not all people who engage in criminal behavior have been convicted either. So while they will be weeding out the ones who have been caught, the site cannot predict who may be a threat.
Most people agree choosing a life of crime is dumb that doesn't mean that all criminals are dumb. Some criminals (particularly the kind that are drawn to cybercrime) are very intelligent. They can be charming and able to hide a host of dangerous behaviors. It is these intelligent criminals who will find the loopholes in a system. I'm not particularly smart myself and I have no criminal training but I was able to brainstorm four or five ways around the proposed cell phone/postcard security.
So am I saying abandon all hope and just cut out internet dating? Of course not. I also applaud the online dating sites for enacting more security measures to provide a safer dating experience. However as my mother used to say, better safe than sorry. As daters, we are aware that for every right person there are a hundred which don't suit. Some of whom might be up to no good. We must take safety into our own hands and make sure we are vigilant on our dates.
In the early days of online dating, people were much more cautious. They told their friends where they were going, when and with whom. Sometimes the friends even "happened" to be at the same place to make sure it was safe. I am proposing that we party like its 1999 or at least date like it. If something or someone just sets off that creepy vibe then listen to your instincts. Again let someone know the four W"s (who, what, where, when).
Online dating is still a great way to meet someone. I think we need to provide for our own security and not just leave it up to the dating sites. If we all work to protect ourselves, hopefully we can stop seeing online dating in the headlines.
Jennifer Flowers, Co-Founder of Minutes2Love
Minutes2Love is the premier online dating service in the Fox Valley area.
We are putting the person back into personals by proving our clients with the ultimate in dating experiences.
http://www.minutes2love.com
http://www.minutes2loveonlinedating.tumblr.com
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Article Submitted On: April 27, 2011
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