Simon S CaseyLevel: Basic
Simon Casey is a nationally known Author, Speaker, and Educator. Graduated from Waltham College in London with emphasis on pre-med. He concluded alcoholism certification at ... Article Word Count: 554[View Summary]Comments (0)
Did you come home after your first date with a bad taste in your mouth? You are not alone. Many people experience disappointments along with a nightmarish first date that in turn will make them timid, scared, and altogether stop the online dating scene. However, if you follow the below steps, you will be smiling instead of walking around with a bad feeling. You can also use the following guidelines as part of your decision in making for a partner.
Do not get involved emotionally right away; there are some people who are very effective with words and willing to tell you what you want to hear. It is a trap. Once your emotions take over, more than likely you will -- ignore or make excuses -- to the red flags you start seeing along the way.
Don't seek instant gratifications; you will find yourself becoming more impulsive and preoccupied with the feeling how good you feel at that moment. This drug like feeling is almost always short lived -- while leading you to disappointments.
Know yourself be clear with who you are and what you want, and what you don't want. If the person you encounter is not able to meet those expectations, don't try to modify or mold yourself to fit to their standards. This is a sign of desperation. Desperate people, end up finding desperate people, and end up living in a desperate world.
Your fist date: Insist on meeting at a public place, preferably in the city you are familiar with. If the other person insists on something more private, walk away.
If the person insists on coming to your home to pick you up -- more than likely -- you may be setting yourself up for being vulnerable. Avoid this all all costs -- this way you can also avoid the possibility of being stalked, harassed etc.
If the person makes excuses about their identity such as, not giving their full name, current picture or avoids using Skype/or something like it, more than likely they are interested in the game of dating and nothing serious. If and when you are ready to know the person on a more deep level create a Skype account and go to the next level of communication.
Shortly after meeting the person tell your date that you will be making a short phone call to your friend about where you are and how things are going. Make the phone call in front of your date.
If your date is being sexually inappropriate, or if the conversation is not what you anticipated, don't try to change the subject or try to smooth the conversation. Just get up and leave.
If your date is consuming excessive amounts of alcohol or insisting you to drink, this is a sign they are not comfortable with themselves, and may be struggling with addictions.
Be honest with yourself and don't go to your head and try to justify or make excuses for your experience especially if you experienced any of the above. Ultimately you owe it to yourself to be honest. Know that you are a good person and don't settle for less. Remember, human suffering is primarily to do with going against our gut feelings and unable act on them honestly.
Be safe, be well,
Dr. Simon Casey
http://www.emotionalmasteryinternational.com
http://www.drsimoncasey.com
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